A series of surprisingly fortunate events ch.6 END

A Series of Surprisingly Fortunate Events

Chapter Six: Suck it Andrew Paxton

Stiles rolls over in his sleep and kicks Derek in the face, effectively waking the man up. He can't say he's too surprised, Stiles doesn't really seem like the type to do anything gracefully. Since they met the boy has been all loudness, fumbling, and pain for Derek. The boy is literally a walking disaster, and Derek would never say it out loud, but he wishes he could experience the mayhem that is Stiles Stilinski a little more.

Yes, he's annoying and awkward.

Yes, he's not too great with walking or eating or even breathing to be honest.

And yes, he's the best friend to the one employee Derek has that hates him for whatever reason.

Yet despite these facts, Derek is fond of Stiles.

Alright, all cards on the table; Derek has a disgusting crush on the kid.

A fucking crush. Twenty-four years old and he has reverted to a ten year old's approach towards feelings. Naturally.

After another kick to the face by his…icrush/i, Derek decides to wake up. It's 8 in the morning anyways, he's usually up by now at the café.

Climbing out of the bed and getting dressed, Derek heads to the kitchen where Stilinski is sitting with a cup of coffee half-way gone.

"Good morning, Derek." Stilinski smiles and Derek returns the gesture. He likes Stiles' dad. When he was younger Stilinski was a new cop, naïve to the ways of the world just as Derek was on the day most of his family died. They worked through it together for a few years, and although he had never met Stiles in that time, he had heard about him often. Naturally, with such a weird first and last name, Derek realized who he was the first day he came into his shop.

Perhaps that was why he could never truly hate Stiles, despite every fiber of his being begging him to. The memory of Stilinski helping him was brought to mind every time that fumbling idiot came into his café. Not memories of the fire, or of the weeks after where Stilinski would drag him to therapy, but of months later. Of the days when Derek would meet with Stilinski once a month to catch up at a small diner in town. Derek would talk about school and his sisters, while Stilinski would go on and on about his hell spawn of a child.

He would never tell Stiles any of those things, though. They are far too private to just discuss with some kid you know through a few second-hand connections. Hearing those stories back then, he never in a million years would have guessed he would end up getting feelings for the kid, or being a big enough sucker to actually pretend to date him.

Yeah, they were nothing like The Proposal. Stiles was right about that.

Theirs is its own story. Its own cruel, stupid, story.

"So, I never would have thought years after moving from Beacon Hills, little Derek Hale would be grown up and dating my son…" Stilinski smiles at Derek, "Or at least pretending to date my son."

Derek tenses up a little, pulled out of his thoughts by the fact Stilinski knows. "…How…?"

"Please, Derek, I'm his dad. I'm also a sheriff. I know when something's up." Stilinski laughs a little, "The way you two act, it's clear there's something there, but it's even clearer that it hasn't even remotely been touched on."

"Fair enough," Derek shrugs, "I'm not dating your son. He told you a white lie, and rather than fess up, or just tell you the truth from the start, he pulled me into this."

"I don't think pull is the right word. Nudge would probably fit better." The man teases and Derek smiles.

"Probably."

"He likes you as well, Derek."

"I know." Derek admits, "I'm not blind, I'm also not stupid. He's a teenager who has zero experience. At this rate he'd like a piece of paper if it had the right shape. If he were to approach me I wouldn't say no, but I'm not going to chase after some inexperienced kid."

Stilinski nods silently for a moment, "I understand that, and rest assured, he doesn't put effort into things he doesn't absolutely want. If he asks you he will mean it. Also Stiles isn't an idiot though, and neither are you, so I have no doubts his little lie will turn into the truth soon enough…" He grins at Derek, "Which is why this conversation never happened."

"Got it."

The two continue in their peaceful coffee time until a crash is heard from Stiles' room, followed by some thuds and a few curses.

It isn't his fault, its Derek's. The bastard wasn't in bed! How are you supposed to pull the old 'oh no I rolled over onto your side and on top of you' move if they aren't there?

He wasn't gonna, you know, do anything. Just see what it felt like to have a breathing pile of sex underneath you. There is nothing wrong with that, it is called a scientific experiment. It would be for the greater good. Somehow.

Besides, in about three hours Derek is just going to waltz right back out of Stiles' personal life and go back to being his best friend's grumpy boss. Stiles just wants a little longer with the private Derek, like a few more hours. Or days. Or months. Or whatever.

Groaning he walks out to the kitchen and sees Derek and his dad sitting there, staring at him curiously.

"Good morning." Stilinski breaks the silence and Stiles sighs, plopping down into the chair beside Derek's.

"Yeah, 'morning."

The three of them spend the morning just hanging out at Stiles' place, shooting the shit, until his dad heads out. Just like that it's all over. His dad's visits always seem short, but this one takes the cake by far. He stands there next to Derek in the driveway, both silent as his dad's car fades out of sight.

"So, um…" Stiles begins and Derek cuts him off. Good to see he's falling back into his jackass role nicely.

"I'll see you at the coffee shop." Derek says, turning to leave.

It's then that Stiles panics. He likes the Derek he is getting to know, and maybe, just maybe, he can turn this lie he told his dad into the truth? So perhaps asking him out just once wouldn't hurt?
If he says no Stiles can always just play it off as a joke, anyways. Maybe avoid the café for a while

"Or…because it's, like, noon and I haven't eaten yet…we could go grab a bite." Stiles suggests, "On me this time."

Derek smiles, looking relieved, "Oh yeah? And where is the big spender going to take us?"

"Only out for the best meal ever!" The teen grins and snatches up Derek's hand, "Everything on the dollar menu at McDonalds it is!"

"Sounds about right for a college student's 'all out'." Derek mocks.

"That's right, I'm gonna spend big college student bucks on you, so I expect some grade-A macking after. Or right now." Stiles teases, making Derek smile and give him what is easily the most chaste kiss in the history of the world. Which makes Stiles' flustered reaction easily the most pathetic in the world. "Oh, you...you did it..." He clears his throat and gathers himself enough to look a little less pathetic (maybe). "And to think, you couldn't even stomach the idea of kissing me a few days ago."

"Yeah..." Derek says before giving him a serious look, "That reminds me, you still owe me for that cup you made me break."

"Oh my god!" The teen groans, "You still remember that? Fine, I'll just pay with my body." He winks at Derek, who simply rolls his eyes.

"Dream on, kid, I expect money for broken things."

"Well then I guess we won't be going out to a nice fast food lunch. You're stuck with whatever I can whip up at my place."

Derek sighs, "So we'll be eating ramen?"

"And lots of it!" Stiles huffs, "Hope your little cup is worth it."

"Worth having lunch alone at your place? Yeah, I think I can live with that." Derek smirks and Stiles blushes.

"Y-you know what this means?" Stiles asks awkwardly.

"Hm?"

"I totally Andrew Paxton'd your ass this weekend." He grins.

Derek rolls his eyes, "Yes, great job. You even managed to do it without the help of Betty White."

"Clearly the most impressive feat of the weekend."

"Clearly."

"Now come, Margaret, I'm going to woo you with a romantic ramen lunch over the sensual lighting of my television screen." Stiles takes his hand and leads him back inside.

"If you play The Proposal I'm going home." Derek warns, making Stiles falter for a second.

"…We'll choose something when we get inside."

"Uhuh."

Stiles never would have guessed this whole thing would end in him bringing Derek home for dinner. Hell, a few days ago he never would have let Derek into his house. Yet here he is, craving the guy's company to the point of asking him out. No doubt this will end in couch cuddling. Probably even some making out if he uses the ramen that hasn't expired.

Thank god it didn't turn out to be one of those life lesson Indie films. Cheesy fluff is always the way to go.

Who knows? Maybe soon he can even call Derek his real boyfriend.

Suck it Andrew Paxton, Stiles Stilinski is the new pro at getting a tightly wound idiot to like him, and he didn't even have to go to Alaska to do it.

A/N: I just want you to know I love every single one of you who actually stuck with this. And yeah, I know, there's so much more I could do with this. Sadly, I'm not going to. Though I assure you hedoes go with the ramen that hasn't expired and it ends as predicted. I like it ending like this though, honestly. I'd say that maybe I will return to this universe and show their dating life, but I'm not. I'm just gonna go on and make a new story about them. Because that's what I do. Because I'm an asshole. I'm so sorry this is so...mediocre. This is what happens when you try writing five stories at once while balancing work and classes. NEVER. AGAIN. (I say for the millionth time)